Its Been A Long Year
by EmW05
Summary: This year was full of twists and turns for Tree Hill residents. A baby was born, near death experiences, marriages fell apart and lives were changed forever. Totally AU, Couples are undecided...
1. Prolouge

"Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it... It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for... and the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more."

**"Its Been A Long Year"  
Prolouge**

I always slept on my side. When I woke up in the morning on by back, I knew something was wrong. I knew that something, subconsciously, in the middle of the night woke me, made me stir a bit, but then put me back to sleep as if nothing had gone on at all. It was almost as if whatever had woken me up was just a dream or my imagination running amok, again, because I could never remember anything.

This morning was no different. My eyes opened to incessant beeping of my five dollar alarm clock. I put my left hand on my chest and pulled my quilt over my head with the other. I watched the cover rise and fall to the rhythm of my breath. Breathing in deep, I tossed the covers off and let my legs dangle off the edge of the bed. My feet touched the cold hardwood floor and I cringed a little knowing that was the first step of many to the kitchen where my coffee awaited me. I watched my refection pass the mirror over the vanity. I took a step back and blinked hard. The purplish tone under my eyes didn't bode too well with the lacking color in my hair. I ran my hand over my left arm, covered in welts. I let my fingers linger over the bumps and bruises for a little longer. Wetness fell from my eye as I continued to stare at myself in the almost full length mirror. I closed my eyes tight and took a long, deep breath, coughing back the tears.

It had been a long year.

* * *

I cradled her in my arms and placed her tiny hand in mine. Her dark brown hair covered her little head. She had the cutest little head. I placed my lips on her forehead. I listened to her breathe and ran my index finger over her warm cheek. Catching myself smiling, I quickly turned away. How could I let her go? How could I do this to her? How could I do this to myself?

Some days are better than others. Some days, I want to keep her right here with me, locked in my arms; just me and her forever. I would think about how everything could work out and how things could be perfect if it were just her and me in our own little, safe world. Then I wake up from my dream and realize that is not how it is going to be. It can't just be the two of us when things are so complicated.

She opened her eyes and stared deep into mine. I smiled at her and she cooed at me. I watched a tear drop fall from my face to hers. I wiped it away and watched the door open. They didn't even have to say anything; I knew what time it was. It was time for her to not be mine. I handed her over and heard her begin to cry. As soon as the door closed, I began sobbing.

It had been a long year.

* * *

He threw the ring and I watched his spin around the glass on the kitchen table. I listened to him yell at me as he walked into the back room. I heard the all too familiar sound of him rolling a suitcase from the closet. I crossed my arms over my chest and yelled at him not to go. He said he had to, that he couldn't be like this anymore. He said that every time he left.

All of his clothes lay in the red suitcase. I walked into the bathroom and threw all of his things onto the floor. I twisted the band around my finger and stood, silent in the kitchen. Every other time he left, he always came back, but I had never seen him act quite like this. I wondered if this time would be like every other time. I wondered if he would walk back in the door tomorrow, telling me he was sorry for the way he acted and the he only wanted to be with me.

As soon as he walked out the door, I knew this time was going to be different. As soon as he walked out the door, I knew he wasn't coming back. As soon as he walked out the door, I knew this was going to be worth the fight.

I watched his car drive away and I threw the ring at the window. I let my body fall to the ground. I heard the ring hit the floor and I began to weep.

It had been a long year.


	2. If These Streets Could Talk

Chapter 1

"If These Streets Could Talk"

I pushed the headphones deep into my ears, letting the rhythm drown out the noise of the town around me. I watched the girl on the corner of the street dig through her purse. She dropped the bag to the ground, bent over, and finally pulled the much needed cell phone from the bottom. A dark man walked behind her and, completely obviously to me, checked out her ass. He continued walking as if it was not odd that he was a 40 year old man checking out, what appeared to be, a 15 year old. I smirked to myself when I realized the man was none other than Mayor Dan Scott. I pushed them deeper into my ears and lowered my head. As I ran my hands over my arms, I felt someone behind me. I slowly turned around and pulled the left earbud from my ear.

"What are you doing out, Peyton?" Karen Roe placed her hand on my shoulder and I pulled back a little. "It's okay, Peyton, no one is going to hurt you." She put her hand on top of mine, "You know that right?"

I nodded my head and gave her a half smile. I put the earbud back in, pushed it in hard, and continued on my way. "Let me take you home." I could hear her yell to me, but I just kept walking. I would let her, but I wasn't even sure where home was anymore.

It was almost cold outside that day and that was odd for a March afternoon. The cool air made my body ache. A cold gust of wind swept through the downtown streets and sent chills through my body. I looked up and glanced at the other side of the street.

I watched a young man across the street put a quarter in the parking meter. He looked sad. His eyes looked swollen from tears and his shoulders slumped over in disappointment. He walked passed a children's store and stared at it longingly. I recognized this man. I called out to him.

* * *

"Nathan!" I heard my name and quickly whipped my head around. I dug my hands into the pocket of my sweatshirt and clasped my hands together. Something was missing, but I paid no attention to it and looked at the girl across the street.

She walked across the street, dodging the cars slowly passing by. I stared at her. I could see the bruises through her white, long sleeved tee shirt. She pushed her hair behind her ear and pulled her head phones out. I could hear music blasting from the little speakers.

"Strays Don't Sleep?" I asked her. "In one of those moods?" Peyton was the kind of person who was completely affected by music and you could tell what kind of mood she was in by the music she was listening to at that very moment. For example, Strays Don't Sleep equaled a sort of down and out kind of mood. Typical Peyton was pretty mellow, but when music that was even a little mellow for her was playing through her head, this meant for an interesting mood.

She shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I guess so, yeah." She put her hands in her pockets and narrowed her eyes at me, "Are you doing okay? I mean, is everything alright?"

I gave her a half smile and said, "Yeah…Okay, I guess." I smiled at her and shook my head, slowly glancing into the window of the children's clothing store. For a moment I felt something missing. I looked down at my left hand and, just for a second, missed her. As I looked back up, my eyes met with Peyton's.

She wrapped her arm around mine and said, "Wanna walk? I think we both could use someone to talk to."

* * *

I felt my foot press harder and longer on the accelerator. I looked at my rear view mirror and watched the town move further and further out of sight. My ring-less left hand clutched the steering wheel as if it was going to be the one thing to save me from myself. I didn't even know what I was doing anymore.

Things were going downhill fast and I didn't know what to do to stop it. I glanced at the empty passenger seat knowing that it was my fault that no one was in it. I watched my cell phone, which lay in the front seat, vibrate. I stared at it for a moment longer and finally decided to answer.

"Hello." I said, mid-cough. I watched the trees pass by me in almost a fluid motion of green. The stop lights swayed back and forth in the gusting wind. Rain began to quickly fall from the dark sky. The drops hit hard on the roof of my car.

"Haley, turn around, you can't do this. You can't run away from this." The voice on the other line said. I was hoping that this voice could soothe me into believing that running away from my problems was the wrong answer, but it didn't have that effect on me.

I took a deep breath, "This is what I have to do. I have to get away. I can't stay there anymore and watch him raise her child."

"He isn't." He voice replied, "They aren't. Just come back and talk to him about it Hales. Come on. You can't leave me."

I closed my eyes for a moment and then opened them quickly, remembering that I was driving. "Listen, Lucas, I am not leaving you. I am finding me. This is what needs to happen. I have to get out of this town."

"Please, come back. I can't be here without you. We can get through this together. Just don't run away again. Don't come back for me, come back for yourself."

I let his words run throughout my body. I removed my foot from the accelerator and put the car in park. I listened to the pounding of the water on the windshield. I closed the phone and tossed it onto the passenger seat. My hand found its way to the door and I slowly opened it. I let the rain hit my left leg as my foot fell to the pavement. I looked up to the dark sky and felt the rain cover me.

A horn sounded behind me but I didn't even budge. I just stood there in the middle of the road engulfed in a torrential downpour. This was the most free I had ever felt, and I was going to soak up every moment of it.


	3. The Fear In Love

**Author Note:** _As requested, I would let you know the pairings but I am not really sure whoI want to be together. Anyone who has read my stories before know I am not one who usually sticks to couples anyway. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy my story and let me know if you have any questions. I love replys, the more replys the more I want to write. Thanks!_

* * *

Chapter 2

The Fear In Love

I drummed my fingers atop my stomach and stared at the mirror across from my bed. As I rubbed my hands over my abdomen I heard a knock at the front door. I remained motionless and yelled from the back room, "Yeah! Come on in!" The knock at the door continued and I said once more, "Yeah!" Once again, a knock. I threw my legs off the bed and headed for the door. I put my hand on the cold door knob and slowly turned it.

"Hey." He said, almost abruptly. I was stunned. He was the last person I imagined to be at my front door on a night like this. He put his hand on top of his buzzed, blonde head. I watched lightening strike behind him and I jumped a little.

"Luke," I looked over his shoulder and motioned to him, "Come in." I crossed my arms over my newly enlarged chest and said, "I wasn't expecting you… tonight or… ever for that matter." Trying to laugh at my comment, I smiled a little.

"I just came over because," He paused for a moment. I could tell by the look on his face, he was planning just the right words, "I just… I knew there were some things that needed to be talked about."

"I don't really know what else there is to say Lucas." I walked to the back room of my new apartment and he followed behind me. "You hate me, I don't know how else that can be put," I said as I stood in the door frame to my bedroom.

"I hate you because I don't, Brooke." He put his hands on my shoulders, "I know none of that was your decision and I don't hate you for that. I just need you to know that."

"You can blame us being over on who ever you want, but when it comes down to it, we all know that it was no ones fault but our own."

"Brooke, you know that's not true." He followed me back into the kitchen. "You know for a fact that if your parents had never opened there big, pompous, hoity toity mouths that we would still be together. You can't look me in the eyes and tell me that you think I am wrong. I know you can't."

I stared him right in his big blue eyes and said, "Us not being together has nothing to do with my parents," I took a deep breath and turned away from him and said under my breath, "All though they did make me think…"

"What?" He asked me, turning me around.

"I just said that, I just said that my parents opened my eyes…" I opened the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of water, "Lucas, I have become accustomed to a lifestyle…"

"Oh come on!" He said, throwing his arms in the air, "Back to this again are we? It is always about the money isn't it Brooke."

"It never starts with money…"

"But it always ends with it…" He leaned on the edge of the couch and said, "You had a baby with another man Brooke, I don't see how you can say anything about lifestyle…"

"What are you even talking about Lucas? Whose fault is it? Who are we blaming today?" I screamed at him. "First you blame it on my parents, and then you blame it on me after you said it wasn't my fault. Stick to a story, Luke."

He rolled his eyes and, almost, laughed at me. "You cannot sit her and tell me that you did not sleep with someone else while we were together, am I right?"

I felt my face get hot. I wanted to make him leave. I wanted to kick him out of my apartment. What right did he have to come in here and interrogate me like this? Tears started to fall from my green eyes. I tried to fight them back, but I couldn't.

"Do you think this is an easy time for me Lucas, do you?" I wiped the tears from my life. "Now it is your turn, you look me dead in the eyes and tell me that you think this is easy for me. Tell me that you think it is easy to give up you baby because you are seventeen! Tell me right now!" The tears that were falling slowly before were now making me a complete and utter wreck. I lifted up the bottom of my shirt and lowered the top of my sweatpants. "Do you see that? Do you see that scar Lucas?" I ran my hand over the scar, "That scar is going to be there forever and every time I look at it I am going to remember what I gave up." I gave up on wiping the tears, "Now try looking my in the eyes and telling me that it was easy."

I walked to my room and heard the front door close. I closed my eyes. All I could hear in my head was Lucas' voice over and over again, "I hate you because I don't. I hate you because I don't." I put my hands on my scar and didn't know how I could possibly hurt more than I did right at that moment.

* * *

Peyton put her fingers in her messy mop of blonde hair and leaned across the table, whispering to me, "I had no idea Nathan. I never knew… wow." She fiddled with the black band on her wrist and tapped her foot to the beat of the song playing in the café. "I'm… I'm sorry. I know how it feels to lose someone." She smiled a little and said, "Sometimes the people who come and go the fastest are the ones who leave the biggest impact, ya know?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right." I laughed, "That felt good." She smiled at me. "Ever since Haley and I… ya know, whatever-ed…"

"Nathan, its okay." Her smile made me feel like maybe everything was okay, like maybe things could work out. "I'm not going to make fun of you or judge you… okay maybe I will," She laughed, "But not about this."

"I just don't understand. She was there for so long. She didn't leave me when I cheated on her. She stuck around when we found out Brooke was pregnant. She stayed with me throughout all this really… just bad stuff that I did and I come home the other day and all of a sudden… it is over."

"I guess its that whole, "straw that broke the camels back" situation."

"I mean, I guess so." I took a drink from the glass of water sitting in front of me and leaned on the table. "I just don't really get it."

"You are one of my best friends, Nate, but if you don't wanna know what I think then I wont tell you…"

"What do you think? Not like you aren't going to tell me anyways."

"Now Nathan Scott, do I sense a little mockery?"

"Wow, Peyton Sawyer picks up on the sarcasm I am dishing, astonishing."

"So, cynical." She rolled her eyes at me and continued, "I think that this whole time Haley didn't really realize the extent of everything. Brooke being pregnant was just something that people talked about. It was almost like it wasn't real. Then you went to the hospital and then the baby was here and then… the baby was gone and I think Haley was jealous that it was your and Brooke's baby and not your's and her's."

Peyton pulled her cell phone from her black messenger bag and said, "Damnit, Nate, I'm sorry. I have to go. Karen needed me to go to the club to…"

I shook my head and stood up, "Listen its fine. Thanks for listening…"

"And talking?" She laughed, "You're welcome." She winked at me and headed out the door. Before the door could close all the way, it opened again and there she was, Haley.


	4. My Sweet Explosion

Authors Note: If anyone is disappointed with the pairings in this chapter, don't worry, virtually everone in this story will be paired with everyone else, at least that is what I hope for. Let me know what you think, please read and reply!

Chapter 3  
My Sweet Explosion

The water from the rain dripped off my body. I ran my fingers through my hair, ringing it out. I stood under the Karen's Café canopy and looked out at the street. The door swung open behind me. The girl leaving almost knocked me now. She turned around and put her hand on my shoulder.

"I'm so sor…"

"Hey Peyton."

"Hales," She glanced inside the café, "Hey."

"What's up?" I asked twisting my hair into a bun on top of my head. I wrung out my sleeves and looked in through the café window. There he was, sitting alone, tossing down a couple dollars onto the table.

Peyton put her hand on my back and pushed me in the door, "Go. Talk to him."

It was cold inside the café, much colder then the spring winds outside. As I glanced over at his table, his eyes met mine. I gave him a half smile and walked behind the counter. Deb handed me a cup of coffee and nodded toward Nathan, "Table 6," She said as she winked at me. I glared at her and she motioned for me to go.

I put the cup down onto the table and said, "Here's your coffee." As I turned to walk away, he grabbed my arm.

"I understand that you are mad at me and you can hate me if you want…"

"I don't hate you Nathan. I hate what you did and I hate that I fell in love with you, but I don't hate you."

"Then why can't your forgive me."

"It's not that easy. I can't just flip a switch and forget what happened."

"I just wish you would give me another chance, I sware I won't mess it up this time."

I threw my arms in the air and started to yell, "How can I believe you!" I looked around and notice everyone was staring, "How can I believe you?" I whispered. "We can't talk about this here because I have a feeling that for you to understand what I am thinking I am going to have to yell and I know that I can't get the appropriate amount of yelling done in here."

He stood up and said, "Then lets go outside."

"It is raining."

"You're already wet."

"And?"

"We have got to talk. Rain or shine, we have got to talk." He took my by the arm and led me outside.

I put my hands on my hips, "Okay, here we are, talk."

"Come on Hales, don't be like that." He put his hands on my waist. His touch sent chills up and down my body. The way the touched me made me feel a way I had never felt before.

"Nathan… please." I shook my head and removed his hands from my body. "I can't do this again. I just can't. I can't let you in again."

"I love you."

"And I love you." I reached into my pocket and pulled out his gold wedding band. "I carry this with me because when you left… I prayed that you would come back and you didn't. I knew, as soon as you walked out, that this time was going to be different."

"But it doesn't have to be."

"That is the problem Nathan. Things need to be different. Obviously something is going wrong! Something is not working."

"It was my fault."

I looked down at the ground and felt the rain start to fall again. "Well at least you know that now."

"I knew that all alone. I made a mistake. I missed up and I know that. But I also know that there has never been a day that I wasn't thinking about you. There was never a day that I wasn't dreaming about us being together again. I do know that." He wiped the rain and tears off of my face. "I also know that I only want to be with you." He put his hand on the back of my head and pulled me close to him.

I rested my head on his chest and took a deep breath letting the smell of him soak into my body. As I wiped my eyes, I looked up at him, "Please, Nathan, please, I don't think I can do this again."

He nodded his head and kissed me on the forehead, "I love you, always..."

Our lips met and in between kisses I replied, "…and forever."

* * *

Peyton walked through the door of Tric and stood at the bar. I didn't see her; I could only see her shadow on the dance floor of the club. She crossed her arms over her chest and I watched the shadow of her arms move as she breathed. The book in my arms slipped and fell to the ground. I peaked around the corner and watched her look around the club, searching for whatever had just made the noise.

"Hello?" She called out as she walked around the club. "Hello? Is anyone there?"

I dropped the book again, just to see her rattled. She continued to look around and yell out hello. She turned her back to the doorway I was standing in and I jumped out, "Ahh!" I screamed. She jumped and placed her hands atop her heart.

"Damnit Lucas," She hit me on the arm, "You scared me so bad. I thought I was in a bad teen movie and I was going to be the first to die."

"At least I wouldn't be the first."

"Haha, very funny." She rolled her eyes and looked around the club, "Where is your mom? She sent me a text this morning before school…"

"Oh," I dug my hands into my pockets, "About that." She had a confused look on her face. "I sent that this morning. That was me. She didn't need to meet you here."

"Why… what?" She crossed her arms again and leaned over the bar. "I'm kind of lost."

"I just felt like I hadn't gotten to see you…"

"Lucas come on… bad idea…" Peyton grabbed her bag off the counter and turned for the door.

"No Peyton, wait…"

She put her hands on her hips, "This is such a bad idea and you know it. Brooke just called me telling me how you were trying to get back together with her."

"What?" I asked, almost confused.

Peyton shrugged, "Well that is what she said."

"I don't know what I want Peyton." I walked toward her and put my hands on her shoulders, "When I am with you, I want to be with you…"

"But when you are with her you want to be with her." She shrugged my hands off of her shoulders. "I can't play this game again."

"No, it doesn't have to be like that this time."

She started to walk away, but in the process she tripped over a cord hanging from one of the strobe lights. Everything fell out of her purse. "Damnit." She said trying to gather her things.

I walked toward her, "Let me help." As I kneeled down, out eyes met and I got that feeling again. It was the feeling I always got when I was around Peyton. I always felt like we were the only ones in the room and this time we were. I leaned down and let our lips crash into one another. Peyton's cell phone lay on the floor vibrating. I glanced at it and watched the name, Brooke, flash. I paid no attention, it was just Peyton and I for now.


	5. Believe In What You Want

Chapter 4

Believe In What You Want

The wind was blowing just enough on the shore of Wrights Beach that no one was out that night. The chilly night was one of many lately. It was a mild spring so far. I looked up at the sky and then out to the ocean. Ships crossed over the horizon and if one wasn't careful, they could be confused with the stars. The oceans breeze sent chills down my spine. I rubbed my hands together, trying to heat my body. I turned around, hearing footsteps behind me.

I watched Nathan's tall frame walk toward me. He had an almost cocky stagger about him. I think that is part of what made me so attracted to him. Even in a crowded room, I could always spot him. He was the one who just seemed to glow. He was the one who everyone seemed to be looking at and I loved that. I was the greedy girl who wanted the gorgeous guy all the other girls were staring at. And I had him, for just a moment, and then he slipped right out of my fingers.

Sometimes I feel like the saddest day in someone's life is the day they forget something that was so amazingly important to them that they just suddenly feel empty. The day I laid in the hospital, about to give birth to our daughter, I forgot what Nathan smelled like. At that very moment I felt more empty and alone then I had ever felt in my life.

"I was wondering if you would be here tonight." I said to him, standing up and dusting the sand off of my legs.

"I almost didn't come." He crossed his arms over his chest and I narrowed my eyes at his left hand.

We sat on the sand and I said, "So, back together again?"

"Brooke…"

"What? When were you going to tell me? After we had sex again? After I made a fool out of myself talking about how I miss you before you are even gone? After I told you how I almost love you? Is that when you were going to tell me?"

"She is my wife."

"And I mothered your child."

"It was a mistake…"

I shook my head and choked back my tears, "That was not a mistake and you know it."

"You didn't want a baby and you know that."

"So what if I didn't want a baby, Nathan, that is not the point. Just because I didn't want to have a baby at seventeen doesn't mean that she was a mistake. Everything happens for a reason. So what if this isn't the perfect relationship…"

I watched him stand up and shake his head, "There is no point in this conversation right now… or ever for that matter."

"If you walk away from me right now and never turn back, I guess I understand, but I just need you to know that the only time I have ever felt safe in my entire life is when I am in your arms. I'm not telling you these things so that you will leave her for me, believe me, I have had my heart broken enough times to never want my best friend to go through the pain and agony of knowing that the person you love… just doesn't want you as much as you want them. I messed up, I get that, but I hoped in the back of my mind that you would try and forget about those things, but I guess you decided to walk away instead…"

"This isn't me walking away, Brooke, this is me trying to move on."

"But… you can't move on. We have both made some mistakes but what is a relationship with out problems?"

"A perfect one?"

"Perfect doesn't exist, Nate, when are you going to realize that? Nothing is perfect."

"Why do you always say that? Maybe someday things can be perfect. But this, this will never be perfect and you know that. You are just trying to get me to believe that this is the best that it can get. You want me to think that nonstop fighting and yelling is the best life can possibly be. The only thing you make me do is want to hold out for perfect, Brooke."

"That's not what I want to make you do, Nathan. I want you to want me! That's all; it's that plain and simple. It is black and white. All I wanted this whole time was for you to want me back. I didn't care if you believed this was the best it could get. It didn't matter if you though our continuous fighting was the way things would always be. None of that mattered a single bit as long as we were together."

I watched him twist his wedding band around his finger and look up at me. "I'm sorry, Brooke."

* * *

What was I thinking? Why did I kiss him, again? Brooke was my best friend, how could I do this to her again. I couldn't stop my mind from racing. I had tried everything to slow my thoughts down. Taking deep breaths, taking a hot shower, eating, trying to sleep, nothing was working. I just couldn't stop thinking about it. What worried me was the fact that I was only thinking about what happened, not who it happened with.

I knew it was a mistake from the moment that it happened and as soon as I walked out of Tric I regretted it.

I didn't even have feelings for Lucas. I

I didn't even know who I had feelings for anymore.

Trying, again, to stop thinking about it, I lay on my bed and put my pillow over my face. I heard footsteps outside my door, but I didn't move. I wasn't really in the talking mood. I prayed that it wasn't Brooke, or Lucas, for that matter.

The person came closer. "Peyton?" It was Haley. I peaked out from behind the pillow. She raised her eyebrows at me. "What are you doing?" I shook my head and pulled my covers over my head. She sat on the edge of the bed and ran her hand over my head, "Peyton, seriously, what is wrong?"

"I did something stupid," I said from under the covers.

She laughed a little and said, "What?" I tried to pull the blanket down, "I mean, it can't be as stupid and you making out with Lucas right?" She laughed.

I sat up from under the blanket and stared at her.

"No," She said, crossing her arms over her chest, "Not again. You kissed him again, Peyton…"

"I know, I know! It was stupid, I told you." I threw the covers over my body again.

"I mean, Peyton, I am not on good terms with Brooke and I would love to say she had it coming but…"

"No, I never should have do this… again."

"Are you going to tell her?"

As I sat up again, I saw a females frame in my doorway. "Are you going to tell me what?" Brooke said, as she put her hands on her hips. She narrowed her eyes at Haley and I.

I took a deep breath and looked at Haley. What was a girl to do?

I


	6. Imaginary Friends

Chapter 5

Imaginary Friends

She leaned against the door frame and closed her eyes. She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at me. "Tell me what?" She said again, not letting her eyes move away from me, not even for a second. Brooke continued staring at me as she walked across the room, to my desk. She sat down and looked at Haley and then back at me. "Are either of you willing to tell me what is going on?"

Haley looked at me and suddenly I felt this sickness in my stomach. I took a deep breath and ran my hands over the pillow that was lying on my lap. As I shook my head I said quietly, "I don't know what you want me to say."

I looked up to see a angry smirk on Brooke face, "Well," She said slowly, "There is a difference between what I want you to say and what you are probably going to say." She stood up and ran her hands over her violet tube dress, "I would like for you to say, 'Wow, B. Davis you look so amazing there is no way Lucas will say no to you"." Brooke looked up at me, "But for some reason, I seriously doubt that's what you are going to say."

"Wow, B. Davis, you look amazing…" I said with a fake smile and a strained face.

"Good try, but seriously," She looked at Haley, "What is going on here?"

Haley shrugged her shoulders and glanced at me. I hated this for her. I knew she felt uncomfortable, but I needed someone here. She looked at the clock on my wall and said, "I really need to go Peyton." Haley headed for the door and gave Brooke a half smile. "Call me later, okay?" She said as she stood in the doorway. I nodded at her and watched her leave.

Brooke's eyes remained on me. "Come on, Goldilocks, just tell me. What's going on?" I said nothing. She continued speaking. "I called you yesterday, but you didn't answer. I left you a message too. What's going on Peyton? It's like you've been on another planet ever since you talked to Nathan the other day." She paused for a moment, letting her mind catch up with her words. "Oh my god, P. Sawyer." She walked into my closed and grabbed a picture frame with a picture of Nathan and me in it. "Do you have feelings for you know who again?" She threw the picture onto the bed with me, "That's totally…" She stopped talking, searching for the perfect word, "…bad timing…" She shrugged her shoulders and pranced around the room, "I guess I could try and give you advice, but, I mean, you dated him, I just slept with him." She turned around and grabbed a pillow. She put it over her stomach, "And we all know what happened there." She laughed at her own comment and I gave an uncomfortable laugh as well. "Come on, let's go, tell me what's up!"

I smiled at her a little and rolled off of the bed. She looked me up and down, "God, you look like hell." She took me by the hand and pulled me out of my room, "This is an emergency. We are going for a little retail therapy." She nodded at me, "Yes, now I have been to another kind of therapy, and trust me, retail is so much better."

I shook my head at her, "No, Brooke, I really don't feel like shopping."

She shrugged her shoulders as she opened her car door, "Okay, fine, I will shop and you can watch." I got into the car and watched her get excited when her phone rang. "Yay." She said as she grabbed the phone from her purse at stare at the screen. "Hi almost-boyfriend... again…" I looked at her and tried to smile. "I know, I miss you too. Where were you the other day?" Brooke started the car and looked at me. "Oh okay, awesome, well I've got to go, Peyt and I are going to go participate in a little retail therapy." "I will talk to you soon." "Okay, bye babe."

Brooke threw her arms into the air and yelled, "I am so crazy about him I could just scream."

"Please don't." I said as I grabbed the steering wheel.

She looked at me and rolled her eyes, "I don't know what rained on your little parade but whatever it was, needs to go away." She said, moving her hands in a "shooing" direction.

"Sorry Brooke," I smiled at her any ran my fingers through my blonde hair, "I just have a lot on my mind these days."

Brooke put her arm around me and pulled me close, "Well talk to me about it best friend. That's what I am here for, okay?"

I pulled away from her and nodded, "Okay, thanks."

She smiled at me, "Anytime."

"So I was just wondering," I said as I slowly turned my head toward her, "Are you going to try and have sex with the whole Scott family or what's the deal?"

"Well, I mean, Nathan was good." She said counting on her fingers, "Lucas was… is… amazing, tremendous, so strong…"

I shook my head and put my hands in front of myself, "I get it, I get it."

She laughed at me and continued on, "And Cooper is, well, I mean he is Hot Uncle Cooper for crying out loud. Dan is hot in a kind of, "I am the biggest ass in the world so maybe we should have sex because I am so angry about everything" way."

"So survey says…"

She looked at me, "No, I am perfectly content… content isn't even the word," She paused for a minute, "I am completely enchanted with Lucas."

I gave her an honest smile, "Brooke, that's great. I am really happy that you are happy." And that was the one hundred percent truth. Of course I would love to be with Lucas, but Brooke was my best friend and as long as she was happy, no matter whom it was with, I should be happy too."

As Brooke and walked through the mall, she stopped in front of Gymboree. She put her hands on the glass and stared at the baby clothes. Brooke looked at me and I nodded at her. We walked into the store and we looked at the baby girls clothes. I knew Brooke was thinking about the baby she gave up, but I couldn't stop thinking about the baby that left me. I looked at the back of the store and my eyes met with a familiar face. I walked to the back of the store.

The man said my name, "Hey… Peyton."

I couldn't form words. There he was. Right in front of me. I had been waiting for this moment. I took a deep breath and felt Brooke's hand on my shoulder.

"Jake." She said slowly.

I repeated her, "Jake."

* * *

I watched him open the front door. I stared at the ring on his finger and smiled. "Hi husband." I said slowly, letting the words soak into my system. I twisted my ring around my finger and winked at him.

"Hello wife." He smiled at me and I bit my bottom lip.

I loved him so much I wasn't even sure if love was strong enough anymore. I ran across the room and jumped into his arms. Our lips bombarded and I moaned from the powerful kiss. He ran his hands down my neck and back. He set me down and rested his hands on my hips, letting his fingertips roam the waistband of my shorts. I moved my hands from his shoulders to his blue jersey shorts, slowly pulling at the hem. I lowered myself and kissed his abdomen. He pulled me back up and let our lips crash into one another's again. I moaned into his lips, "Nathan."

"Hmm?" He said back to me in-between kisses.

"I want a baby."

"What?" He said slowly.

"I want to have your baby."

He pushed me away. "Haley." He said as he pushed me away even further. He put his hands on his face and then pulled them away. "I am not ready to have a baby with you."

I shook my head, "What?"

"I don't want to have a baby with you right now, Haley, you of all people should understand that. With baseketball, and school, and everything. A baby would mess all of that up/

"Oh," I said as I walked over to the living room, "You were willing to give all that up to have a baby with Brooke, who one, you weren't even dating and two, who you didn't even have feelings for, but you aren't willing to give that up to have a baby with your wife."

"Haley its not like that and you know it." He said as he walked back into the bedroom.

"No, Nathan, I don't get it! I just don't get it! And honestly, there is no reason as to why I should understand. I have no reason to understand why you would go off and have sex with her. Unprotected sex with her for that matter!" I followed him into the bedroom. "Just tell me the truth."

"You want the truth?" I nodded. "Fine I will give you the truth. I was unhappy. This his not how I wanted to live when I was seventeen!" He threw his arms into the air. "Little girls dream of getting married, not little boys. I dreamed of becoming a pro basketball player or a fireman or something, not a husband. This is not my happily ever after…"

"But having sex with her made your "happily ever after"?"

"No," He shook his head and pointed his finger at me, "No, I never said that." He turned around and moved his hands about, "This is not what I wanted and I'm sorry that this is how you had to find this out but…"

"But what?"

"I have to go."

Don't you walk out on me again Nathan Scott!"

He didn't even bother packing this time.

He didn't even turn around.

He didn't even tell me he loved me.


End file.
